Envy

Envy is tattered, subtle, starving, green,
It reeks of cold shoulders and sideways glances from behind masks you don't see
It bears a bittersweet taste, as if one had put arsenic in their daily cup of peppermint tea.
Envy likes to lurk in the shadows, wanting what it cannot have
Hiding behind a curtain, as the cold non-acceptance bitterly envelopes
Envy will never have peace; it is an impossibility
It is the opposite of acceptance,
but bigger, much bigger, than jealousy--though the two overlap.
Envy hates pride. They are both sins, but they hate each other fiercely.
Instead, envy takes solace in green-eyed monsters and the glaring tendency of humans to want what they cannot have.
Envy hides inside of me, inside of you, inside of everyone.
Like a closet no one ever wants to clean
Because it's just that messy, and anyway, it would take time
And so it festers, as rot and decay wrap around the various items a closet might have.
It hides behind a smile, though it's never really subtle
As stinging words and body posture reveal it's true form/
With envy, there are secrets, but at the same time, there are not.
It's like they are there, but then again they aren't,
Like secrets that everyone already knew.
Envy loves the darkness.
Envy takes refuge in the dark corners of one's mind
Though envy can also wake up
Next to you in bed
Or behind you in the bathroom mirror
If there is self-analysis and neurotica, then envy can be blamed.
Envy is less fond of the open.
Harsh accusations
Even if they are true
Especially if they are true
No, Envy likes the dark
Even if it secretly yearns for the sunlight
Despite this, Envy feeds off of the insecurities
That the world has to offer
Of which there are plenty
And drinks up misfortune and sorrow
Consuming poor self-image
The screams at mirrors
Serving as Envy's
Favorite, twisted
Midnight snack.

Envy makes me want to die.