You: Son, there's something I have to tell you
You: You're Canadian
Stranger: No, I'm not.
Stranger: Canadians suckkkkk
Stranger: USA baby
You: Search your heart, you know it to be true
You: You were born to use the metric system!
Stranger: That's not true!
Stranger: THATS IMPOSSIBLE
You: It's true
You: You see, I had an affair with a Canadian named Bandit Keith
You: At first I thought he was IN AMERICA but he was actually in Canada.
You: And that's how you were made
Stranger: But what about my birth certificate!?
You: It lieeesss
You: Besides just because you were born in a place doesn't change your genetics
You: Now you know why you get those funny pants feelings when you see people playing hockey.
Stranger: if I was canadian
Stranger: I would like circular bacon
Stranger: and I love good ol' american strips of bacon
You: About that,
You: You know ham?
You: That's circular bacon
You: I'm sorry you had to find out this way
Stranger: But what about my love for all things american!?
Stranger: Clint Eastwood?
Stranger: Arnold Palmer Iced Tea?
You: See if you were American those would be okay
You: But you're Canadian so now it's just weird and creepy
You: But I want you to have this
You: *hands bottle of maple syrup*
Stranger: ...What am I supposed to do with this?
You: You put it on your pancakes
Stranger: I'm an American damn it! I eat raw meat for breakfast!
You: And guess what else?
You: You're part French too.
You: You see, you happen to be from the part of Canada that's got a bunch of French people in it
Stranger: If I was French, wouldn't i eat crapes and not pancakes!
You: You're not /that/ French
You: Only about 1/8
You: By the way, you'll need this: allaboutadvocacy.com/wp-conten…
Stranger: My country can win a war!
Stranger: I swear!
You: Perhaps now's a bad time to tell you that I'm not American either
You: I'm Russian
You: So yes, your father was French-Canadian, and I'm Russian
You: Yep, you're about as American as a bottle of vodka and a maple leaf!
Stranger: I hate russians!
Stranger: and leafs!
Stranger: I love football and baseball!
Stranger: and muscle cars!
Stranger: And Harrison Ford!
You: Maybe you'd be better off not knowing that your grandparents on both side are Germans...
Stranger: I can't hear you! LA LA LA
You: You really had to expect.
Stranger: I can't hear you!!! i'm way too busy hanging up american flags, drinking beer, and burning gasoline with a big american made truck while listening to country music in my wrangler jeans eating a raw steak with my bare hands and singing "song, song of the south!"
You: Why do you think you always got books on engineering for Christmas?
You: Son you're making a scene
You: No one thinks you're American
You: Especially not with that Canadian flag birthmark on your forehead
Stranger: Haha! That's no birthmark!
Stranger: That's from the evil canadian wizard who killed my REAL (American!) parents
Stranger: and tried to kill me, but couldn't
Stranger: and he left a Maple leaf scar on my forehead!
You: Harry Potter is British, you know
Stranger: ...I'm not harry potter
Stranger: I'm Ronald Reagan Jones.
Stranger: Named after the most American man ever.
You: No but your story was based off of Harry Potter
You: Who is british
You: End of story
You: By the way, the family dog is Italian
Stranger: Wrong! It's scottish!
You: What dog are *you* talking about
You: I'm talking about Gino
Stranger: ...I don't know any Gino.
Stranger: Wrong person?
You: I think the family cat was Italian
You: And your high school sweetheart?
Stranger: THATS A LIE!
Stranger: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH
You: It's completely true and you know it!
Stranger: I AM A CITIZEN
Stranger: OF THE GREATEST COUNTRY
You: It is you who can't handle the truth
You: Okay here's a test
You: What are your thoughts on Justin Beiber?
Stranger: I want to run him over with a hummer.
Stranger: and then I want bald eagles to eat his flesh.
You: Ah, a self-hating Canadian
You: Just as I suspected
Stranger: It's a trick question!
Stranger: JUSTIN BIEBER DOESN'T EXIST!
You: He's Canadian
You: Like you are
Stranger: Did I take the red pill?
Stranger: Is this the matrix!?
You: Go mispronounce the letter 'Z' with him and frolic in a field of free health care!!
You: YOU ARE NOT A HERO
Stranger: Socialism NOO!
You: Come on the part of you that's Russian is quite fond of socialism
Stranger: No! Never!
Stranger: I love capitalism!
Stranger: A great man once said "Greed is Good!"
Stranger: and I believe!
Stranger: I understand now....
Stranger: YOU'RE THE CANADIAN!
Stranger: You can't handle it..
You: DON'T TURN THIS ON ME
You: I'M NOT THE TOMATO IN THE MIRROR
Stranger: you can't handle it yourself!
Stranger: Yes, YES YOU ARE!
You: IT'S NOT TRUE EH
You: OH SH-
Stranger: You can't handle the fact that you love Sidney Crosby!
Stranger: And vodka!
Stranger: And crepes!
Stranger: And...jesus... you're from California...aren't you?
Stranger: That explains the fake tan! And the surfboard!
Stranger: That you probably can't use!
You: No! I hate California!
Stranger: And a desire to listen to Katy Perry!
You: Not Kerry Perry!
You: I have not kissed a girl and liked it!
You: But guess what?
Stranger: Yes! Katy Perry! She's your TEENAGE DREAM!
You: I know your weakness.
You: You didn't capitalize Jesus. WHAT KIND OF AMERICAN ARE YOU?
You: GODLESS COMMIE! D:
Stranger: I don't capitalize jesus.. because I worship the greatest god of them all..
Stranger: BRETT GODDAMN FAVRE.
Stranger: A TRUE, AMERICAN HERO.
Stranger: THOSE WHO DO NOT WORSHIP THE IRON MAN MUST REPENT!
Stranger: (And they probably voted for Obama.)
You: Haha I have to go now
You: But you are the best person on Omegle
You: Take care, eh